Your inner circle is the most powerful force in your development. The research on social contagion is unambiguous: everything from your income to your happiness levels is statistically correlated with those of your closest social contacts.
The Audit
For each of the five to seven people you spend the most time with: Does this person challenge me to be better? Does spending time with this person leave me energized or drained? Does this person tell me the truth?
The Hard Part
Some relationships need to end. Others need to be reduced in intimacy and time. Still others need to be deliberately elevated. You are not owed the inner circle you need. You have to build it.
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Explore New MasculinityFrequently Asked Questions
How many people should really be in your inner circle?
Usually just a handful. The value of an inner circle comes from depth and trust, not the number of people in it.
What is a sign someone should not be in your inner circle?
If being around them consistently drains your standards or energy instead of raising them, that is a clear signal.